Living in Paradise

The Oscars Award For Pettiness

I just read a story on my newsfeed about how upset people were that Jamie Lee Curtis won the Oscar for best supporting actress. They thought it should have gone to Angela Bassett. I don’t have an opinion because I haven’t seen either of the movies in which these women had significant roles. I’m too cheap to pay $19.99 to rent them.

There’s always plenty to say about the Oscars. Here are some of this year’s key complaints from the Oscar online commentators, whoever they are:

Hugh Grant gave a terrible red carpet interview.

Lady Gaga took off her make-up and changed from an Oscar gown into holey jeans to sing the Oscar-nominated song from Top Gun: Maverick.

The Oscars left out names of some recently deceased actors in the memoriam segment.

Tom Cruise didn’t attend even though his movie was among those nominated for best picture.

The make-up crew that won an award for their work on The Whale should have insisted that a fat person be hired to play the role instead of creating a fat suit for the actor to wear.

Many actresses wore ugly dresses. At the after-party, many wore next to nothing.

Petty stuff, except perhaps for some key deceased actors being left off the tribute list. But doesn’t that happen every year?

Here are my responses for what they are worth.

Did anyone think Hugh Grant would be witty, charming and full of funny quips in response to the lightweight questions he was asked? Or as Grant said 28 years ago when arrested for committing a lewd act in public with a prostitute: “At the moment, I’m groping my way around a bit. But once I’ve found my bearings, you’ll be able to judge me better.”

Lady Gaga removing her make-up to sing shouldn’t surprise anyone. At the 2011 Grammy Awards she arrived concealed in an egg. “She is in an embryonic state and won’t be born until the performance,” a member of her entourage told an interviewer. I always thought she sang better without false eyelashes.

Tom Cruise didn’t attend because he is busy making another Mission Impossible movie. It feels like that man has his priorities right.

I don’t know what to say about fat people complaining when someone receives an award for making an actor appear to be obese. With all the actors and actresses taking Ozempic to lose weight and thus keeping supplies short for people who need the drug for diabetes, what is there to say about Hollywood and fat-shaming.

As far as wearing see-through outfits at the after parties to garner attention: Those who can’t act can always undress.

And the Jamie Lee Curtis win? It sounds like Angela Bassett needed to do a better job of acting like a gracious loser.

So, without the slap of comedian Chris Rock by actor Will Smith and the presence of Robert DeNiro, Meryl Streep and what’s-her-name mouthy singer to complain about Donald Trump, the show has come to this after-Oscar pettiness.

And the Oscar for the person who tuned into the awards show for 30 minutes and then went to bed at 10:30 goes to: Me.