Living in Paradise

The Brain Eaters are Here

The Brain Eaters are Here

The lack of rain and with it the growing particles and pollen in the air have made my head feel as though it’s going to explode. I’ve tried pills and nose sprays and nothing is doing the job. My head feels heavy, out of sorts and occasionally dizzy.

Some people might say I’m always a little dizzy. But this time I’m attributing it to my sinuses.

When I had Covid two summers ago, I used a nasal wash that helped me breath even as I felt like I was drowning. I thought I heard that someone did actually drown using a neti pot. It doesn’t sound reasonable but stranger things have happened.

I used an untouched bottle I had left over, and it appeared to do the trick. But in two days it was gone, leaving behind a packet that I could refill myself. Easy-peasy those of you not living in Florida might say. But not so fast. Three or so weeks ago Charlotte County put out a warning, noting the presence of brain-eating amoebas in the tap water. We also have flesh-eating bacteria in our paradisal waters.

Stop laughing. I’m not kidding.

The Florida Department of Health said that one person in the state had contracted the microscopic, single-celled amoeba that can cause infection of the brain and is usually fatal within 24 hours. The amoeba, which is commonly found in warm fresh water, enters the body through the nose. Charlotte County reminded its residents that it was okay to shower as long as they didn’t get so aggressive when they were rinsing off the soap that some of those nasty buggers got up their nose.

My next trick was to goggle the question: Can brain-eating amoeba be killed by boiling water? If I could use boiled tap water and the packet to refill my nose cleaner, I might be able to breathe for another two or three days. Short of that, I’d be seeking a refill from Amazon.

Yes, it said, as long as water is boiled to a temperature of 173 degrees F.

Next question because I must have been looking at the cute guy two desks up when we learned about this in high school chemistry: At what temperature does water boil? 212 degrees F. was the answer.

Wait a minute. Me to my man: “This thing says I can use the tap water as long as it boils at 173 degrees. But the boiling point of water is 212 degrees.”

“Maybe one is Fahrenheit and the other is Celsius,” he said.

“I don’t think so,” I responded. “Both numbers have an F after them.”

It struck me that not just on the issue of brain-eating amoebas and boiling water but on so many other things these days we are being led down the old garden path.

Did Covid originate in a lab in Wuhan? Apparently, it did.

Did Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Hilary Clinton and Mike Pence all have classified documents in their possession when they should not have had? It would seem that way.

Do many elected members of Congress become millionaires in Washington D.C. even though their annual salary only amounts to about $174,000 a year on average? Yep.

Did Bill Clinton have sexual relations with that woman? Umm.

Am I going to use tap water from Charlotte County to treat my sinus condition after I boiled it to beyond 173 degrees? What do you think?

Amazon says my order is on the way.