No Cognitive Test For Me, Please

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A Book by Any Other Name

I just saw that President Trump is writing a book about the 2020 election.

Listen, I’m writing a book – not about the election – but a fun-filled mystery set on an island in southwest Florida. I’m actually writing it – my fourth novel in fact – as versus what I’m guessing the former president and many celebrities do these days. That is, hire someone else to pen their prose.

I wanted to read more about the Trump book. Not so much because I’m interested in what he has to say, but rather to see if he will talk about the writing process. How is he gathering data to support his assertions? How many times does he edit a chapter before he declares it finished?

The problem was that the news of the Trump book reached my email account as a teaser – no further information – to get me to subscribe to The Epoch Times. I didn’t bite. I don’t subscribe to any newspapers these days even though I was a reporter for nearly 30 years. My brother is a former major in the Air Force. He doesn’t fly anymore.

So, what does that tell you about the newspaper and airline industries from our perspectives?

Without reading any further details, I’m reasonably sure that Trump is not sitting at his desk, typing away on his computer. But then I wouldn’t want to slander a former president. He may be doing that very thing.

Was he able to get a publisher or is he self-publishing? Will he be doing book tours? Will he buy ads on television promoting his latest book as James Patterson often does? (Does James Patterson even write his own books these days?) I’m just curious.

I know he’s had several books published. Art of the Deal is the one that comes to mind. They call it Trump’s book but also credit journalist Tony Schwartz. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. Tony wrote it after speaking with the entrepreneur. You can bank on that. At least he gets partial credit.

I worked for some very smart people, and I wrote their speeches, their thought papers, their company policies on a variety of issues. If they didn’t like what I wrote, and if I wasn’t thinking correctly, they’d have me change it.

I remember one of my employees being dumbfounded when he was asked to write a paper for the head of the company foundation without even a sit-down discussion beforehand.

“You mean, I’m supposed to decide what company policy is on these important issues?” he asked.

“Yes, and if she doesn’t like your ideas, she’ll let you know before introducing them as her own.”

And so it went.

Many smart people aren’t willing to devote hours each day to the writing process and, frankly, wouldn’t know how to begin. Maybe that’s why they are smart. They wouldn’t settle for the average writer’s profit margin. After Amazon and your self-publishing company squeeze out every penny they think they deserve, all you have left to show for your hard work is a measly $50 check now and then.

I think I’ve whined about this before.

Even more irritating than Trump’s latest book are the ones that are written by celebrities and TV commentators. I’m reasonably confident that everyone on Fox News has written some kind of book that immediately shoots to No. 1 on someone’s best-seller list. That’s after endless hours of self-promotion and free advertising by these so-called authors.

“That’s the news for today. Don’t forget to buy my latest book, folks.”

Remember Bill O’Reilly and his Killing books? He may be one of the few TV journalists capable of writing his own books. When he was on Fox his self promotions were endless. But even he had help from a fellow named Martin Dugard, his “co-author.”

It feels like everyone who worked in the Trump White House also wrote a tell-all book. Maybe some of them actually penned it themselves. I couldn’t say, but in my opinion there’s nothing more disgusting that an individual that takes a paycheck from you and then stabs you in the back … in hopes of making more money by writing about you.

What do I know, but I’m not sure that a Trump book on the 2020 election will be a bestseller. We are familiar with the plot and the ending. I can’t imagine there will be any surprises or mysterious deaths. This isn’t a Clinton book.

Now my book … I’m 12 chapters into my new novel and have already killed off two people. Just me in my little office writing. Stay tuned, folks.

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